Every time I travel with someone other than my partner, or one specific friend who is as generally anxious as I am, question why I put myself through what feels like a lot of avoidable extra stress…
A lot of the problem is that I do not travel well. Everything about travel makes me incredibly anxious. Airports are hell. I want to be early for everything. I’m chronically indecisive so I need decisions made as far beforehand as possible.
The best holidays I’ve had are the ones where beforehand we have agreed an itinerary, preferably also down to where we eat so no decisions are needed once we are there! My ideal holiday is actually an all inclusive resort when you just have to get there, park yourself by the pool and everything else is taken care of.
The problem is I have social anxiety issues which have me terrified of making decisions for other people… So if someone else takes the reins organising I will let them, despite the fact that this may lead to more travel anxiety for me further down the road!
I shouldn’t do that.. I should have taken charge of this trip and that would have avoided several of the more challenging events that occurred before we’d even left the country!
We’ll laugh about it later, I know, but I think we all last a few years off our life between names on boarding passes, taxis, losing passports at the boarding gate and panic buying train tickets for ill-considered windows of time that result in more rushing around than enjoying the sights.
I take responsibility for my part in it, I should have engaged more earlier instead of little it all fall on someone else. I feel guilty for not sharing the burden.
I find myself feeling this too often. I hate that my social anxiety prevents me helping friends and family by sharing the stress of organising trips and events. Especially when I can see the effect of that on the other person and it can hamper their enjoyment.
I did manage to organise the vast majority of my Canada trip with my Mum and I felt good about that! Yet with this I just let myself fall back into old habits. I’m quite frustrated with myself.
Any more holidays with other people I will plan itineraries!
