Drinks after work

I’m on the bus on the way home from my first ever drinks after work, and I just feel filled with such light that I felt I had to share my little successes.

Drinks after work have felt almost mythical. Something I’d heard about but seemed impossible for me. I’ve never had a job where the conditions were right with social culture, but also my own reserved personality and anxiety issues have been barriers.

I actually got invited two weeks ago but I had to decline because we were busy with the wardobes, and I was also exhausted from poor sleep and my period (never prime socialising conditions).

I was anxious over how I’d turned that down rather abruptly (being caught off guard) without explaining I was busy, or expressing I would like to go another time. I hoped for another opportunity, so was quietly thrilled today when I got another invite.

I’m in my “spring” which is my prime socialising and “new things” time – energy highest, my spirit is lighter, and anxiety is at its lowest!

I’ve had a nice time with my 3 colleagues. We just had a nice quiet pint for an hour (I had a delicious grapefruit IPA), and talked a lot about our cats.

Perfect! 😸

They’re all easy going people who are good at listening and leaving space for everyone to engage in a conversation. I now realise that I don’t experience that a lot!

I’m so used to feeling like group conversations are some kind of competition to speak. I have a soft voice, trying to make myself heard is exhausting and stressful so usually I will give up and sit back until I feel myself fade into the background.

This evening I felt remarkably comfortable and relaxed in their company. I felt engaged and included. I am so grateful for that.

So often in this job I end the day feeling amazed and nourished by the generous, inclusive attitudes of the people I work with, and it makes me want to foster those qualities in myself

It’s so freeing.

I am also really proud of myself for pushing my comfort zones and working on my anxiety issues. I have to keep celebrating this little personal victories!

I hope I get the chance to go for a Friday pint again.

Oh and.. I just spoke to a stranger and her child on the bus! She started talking to me first, they were on the way back from the hospital after her 7yr old daughter had broken her arm. I didn’t freeze up and freak out, I shared a similar story of how my brother broke his arm also falling over a very tiny wall. I wished them a good weekend. 🎖️