Carpe Jugulum (Discworld #23, Witches #6) by Terry Pratchett

Format: Audiobook (Audible)
Read: December 2025

This was the final book in the Witches series, and while I didn’t enjoy it as much as the others, I am sorry to say goodbye to these characters!

I did enjoy this more than Maskerade. Once again, the primary theming is around stories. We’ve done theatre, fairytales, folklore and ritual, opera, and now myths. King Verance made the mistake of inviting the Magpyr family of vampires to the naming ceremony for his newborn daughter (he and Magrat must have finally gotten hold of a marital aid book!). The vampires – sorry vampyrs – soon use their powers of influence to take over. Unfortunately, Granny, hurt by a lost invitation, has left her cottage and gone off alone into the gnarly country. The witches need to find her and persuade her to help against the vampires.

“Things will be changing, Agnes Nitt,” he said. “My father is right. Why lurk in dark castles? Why be ashamed? We’re vampires. Or, rather, vampyres. Father’s a bit keen on the new spelling. He says it indicates a clean break with a stupid and superstitious past. In any case, it’s not our fault. We were born vampires.”

There is, as always, a lot going on in this one. I suspect that if (when) I re-read it in the future and am in a better headspace (now worn out in December), I might appreciate it a little more. The social commentary is focused on ideas of modernisation, branding and religion.

The religious commentary comes in the form of The Quite Reverend Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om Oats, who arrives in Lancre to perform the naming ceremony. Mightily Oats is ‘always in two minds’ due to his tendency to always be asking questions despite his religious training, and this makes him immune to the vampires, as Agnes/Perdita are. I like his character a lot. He does ultimately seem to be a true believer in Om (god), but is also able to question his religion and test his faith, and ultimately is a force for good.

Even when he was small there’d been a part of him that thought the temple was a silly boring place, and tried to make him laugh when he was supposed to be listening to sermons. It had grown up with him. It was the Oats that read avidly and always remembered those passages which cast doubt on the literal truth of the Book of Om—and nudged him and said, if this isn’t true, what can you believe?
And the other half of him would say: there must be other kinds of truth.
And he’d reply: other kinds than the kind that is actually true, you mean?

This was another excellent book for Nanny Ogg, she has grown on me more with each new book I have read! I minded Agnes less in this one, the Perdita personality – her two minds – had a purpose in the plot and had some interesting things to say about self-belief. There were still many references to her being fat, but it wasn’t as bad as in Maskerade. I was happy to have Magrat back with the coven, and I loved that now she is married and a mother, she understands Nanny’s jokes (which is also an indication that she has transitioned from the maiden to the mother role in the coven).

It was interesting to see Granny more vulnerable and with her feelings hurt (of course, this was also a reference to the insulted bad witch/fairy in Sleeping Beauty). She was not as active in the main plot until nearer the end. I most enjoyed her time with Mightily Oats. I wish I’d had more time/headspace when I was reading this to pay closer attention.

“There’s no greys, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.’
‘It’s a lot more complicated than that -’
‘No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”

This book introduces the Nac Mac Feegle, a race of tiny blue men who, I believe, turn up in other Discworld books. They were fun and given excellent Scottish accents.

There is a lot to love in this, but for whatever reason, it didn’t tickle me as much as the earlier books did, and that could well just be my December mood! I will definitely re-read this; it’ll be interesting to see if I feel different.