Witches Abroad (Discworld #12, Witches #3) by Terry Pratchett

Format: Audio (Audible)
Read: October 2024

Oh my gosh, I am loving the audiobook versions of these books! This is the first Witches book I had not read through before, although the start was familiar, so I might have tried to read it and not been in the mood. There definitely is a right mood required for Discworld, as much as I really love it when I love it!

This is another story with Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick. I was really worried at the start that Magrat wasn’t going to be in it, but she is! Don’t fear! I love Magrat, and even more so with the sweet voice the narrator does for her.

The setup for this book is that a local Fairy Godmother, Desiderata, has just died, and everyone is interested in getting hold of her wand. Desiderata had the ability to see the future, so she knew exactly the moment she would die and planned for it. She left her wand to Magrat with a note telling her to go to Genue and that Granny and Nanny should definitely not go with her, and try to help. Obviously, this means Granny and Nanny are dead set on the opposite!

Wyrd Sisters was a take on witches in Shakespeare plays and the idea of destiny. Witches Abroad (love the title, such a fun play on words!) picks up this theme again, but instead focuses on the power and influence of stories. There are loads of references to fairy tales: gingerbread house, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, cursed spinning wheels, Wizard of Oz, Snow White’s dwarves, Cinderella and even The Lord of the Rings gets a look in! I’m sure there are more that I didn’t note down!

“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you’d rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”

As the witches spend the first half of the book travelling from Lancer to Genua, there are a lot of old ladies travelling jokes which did feel dated. You know the jokes, speaking loudly, not understanding the language, not liking the strange food and smells etc. I mean, on the one hand, that is exactly how my Gran (or even my Mum) is in a foreign country (or Indian restaurant)… on the other hand, I think humour has moved on since 1991!

“Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling ‘banana’, but didn’t know how you stopped.”

On the other hand, I really enjoy the innuendos or double entres that Nanny will snigger at, Granny will tell her to grow up, and Magrat won’t understand. This one was my favourite, I laughed out loud on my run!

“I know, I know. I know, right? I know as well as you. You think I don’t know?” She bent over the limp hand. “That’s fairy godmothering, this is,” she added, half to herself. “Always do it impressively. Always meddling, always trying to be in control! Hah! Someone got a bit of poison? Send everyone to sleep for a hundred years! Do it the easy way. All this for one prick. As if that was the end of the world.” She paused. Nanny Ogg was standing behind her. There was no possible way she could have detected her expression. “Gytha?”

“Yes, Esme?” said Nanny Ogg innocently.

“I can feel you grinnin”. You can save the tu’penny-ha’penny psycholology for them as wants it.”

The chemistry between the witches was definitely my favourite thing about this book. They’re just such a funny trio of different personalities. Nanny really grew on me, I was a little indifferent to her before, but with so much tension between the opposing forces of Granny and Magrat, I really appreciated her levity and her long friendship and understanding of Granny’s ways!

“That’s what you need to say,” said Magrat. “Any inn has got to open up for bona fide travelers and give them succor.”

“Has it?” said Nanny, with interest. “That sounds like a thing worth knowing.”

Granny Weatherwax is always the star of the show, though, and this book really further fleshes out her moral beliefs. Granny is fiercely practical and distrusts any kind of fiction (as we know from his disdain for theatre in Wyrd Sisters) and stories because, so she believes, they manipulate people and discourage them from using common sense to decide their own futures.

She hated everything that predestined people, that fooled them, that made them slightly less than human.

You can’t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it’s just a cage.

I won’t say much more so as not to give away any spoilers.

I enjoyed the setting of Genua too, which is based on New Orleans, complete with swamps, alligators, gumbo, voodoo and zombies. I saw referenced somewhere that Pratchet described it as like New Orleans with Disney World plonked on top, and that is exactly the vibe! I don’t think Mrs Gogol appears again, which is a shame because I thought she was great and loved her clashes with Granny, who does not approve of reanimating the dead.

All in all, this book was really fun! I think I preferred Wyrd Sisters because the Shakespeare stuff did tickle me, but this is still great, and I will definitely re-read it in the future.